so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have aggressive nipples.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
