all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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