i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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