I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
