it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
