he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
