I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
