Since when is my name a synonym for head?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
