I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
