whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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