she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
