VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
