we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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