They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
