This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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