At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
