I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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