margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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