Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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