Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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