Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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