I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
