All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize