i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
