Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize