i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
