Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
