the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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