My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
