when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
