Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
