saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
