am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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