She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize