porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
