I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
