Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
