I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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