She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
