YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
