I accidentally had phone sex last night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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