Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
