The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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