what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize