we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
