So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
