hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
be right there i have to get my cape
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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