Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
