Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
