Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
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