I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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