My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
