Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Pants are for mortals
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
