so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
