dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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