the condom got lost in my hair
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
