so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
