My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
