why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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