nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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