Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
