Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
